After several hours of deeply calculated calculations, I think I've finally figured out where we are on the map.

The North Pole.

No-Nobody panic! Th-This is actually very good news! Because now we know who is the real culprit!

Santa Claus.

If anybody has seen a fat man with a red suit and big beard, please tell me immediately! The sooner we capture Santa, the better! Also, you should check that you yourself are not Santa. The best way to check is to tug your chin. If there is a beard there, please turn yourself in to the nearest local authority!

Orihime, out!

I-I never realized this was my family . . .

Lu-Lussuria is the wife! And the Boss is his husband! A-And Squalo is the little brother--and--Leul--Leul is going through an adolescent period . . . wh-what a wonderful family! I-I'm the family squirrel! Oh!

I-I SHOULD WRITE DOWN THE BIRTHDAYS BEFORE I FORGET!!!!

Um, um, the Boss's is October 10th, cute little brother Squalo is the 13th of March and second child is 14th of November and the pet mine is 22nd of November! How wonderful!

Bu-But I don't think I'm a flying squirrel . . .

[Found in front of Gokudera's room]

[A small package with "TO KITTY-SAN: PLEASE DON'T KILL YOURSELF"]

[Located inside is a small salt shaker, filled with salt, but labeled as "SULFUR" in badly-written, shaky handwriting, but very large and very bold]

Um, um, Yumi-san, I hope you don't mind, but I bought you some clothes for the ball. I-I hope I didn't overstep my boundaries! E-Eh, I do that too often! I shouldn't have done that! I'm sorry! PLEASE FORGIVE ME I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I DO THESE THINGS MYSELF.

And, um, Ichigo, I wanted to ask you something. I-If it doesn't take up too much of your time. IT PROBABLY DOES I'M SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A NUISANCE.

Kuchiki-san, Kuchiki-san, I made a cake! Come and see!

A-ah...!

...

I-I MUSTN'T BE SAD. Everybody must be feeling so sad right now! If I add one more sadness to the sadness bucket, it might overflow! All right! I'll do something to cheer everybody up! Taking after my master's footsteps, I have made

KUCHIKI RUKIA SOUL-PUNCHING CAKE!

I-It's a bit like Mist-san's Magical Meatloaf, except completely different! I have included gelatin, leek, bananas, butternut squash, and lots and lots of raspberries! But it's not just any cake! No! I have developed a special mechanism!

If you eat too much of it, the cake will actually punch you! It's a super-loaded spring sponge mechanism inside! I-It's what Kuchiki-san did to me... It also has a real metal chain inside! So, um, please don't bite too hard.

It won't be as good as Master Mist-san's Magical Meatloaf, but please feel free to try it!



And, um, Ichigo? I-I know you've been having some, um, problems with your head lately, s-so I made a carrot hat! I hope you like it!

[audible to all on Orihime's floor or those who are wandering by]

O-Oh, Kuchiki-san...! No-Not so hard...! O-ohhh... ohhhhhhhh!

Hello, everybody! I am Orihime! I have forgotten almost everything, but I am working as your current prep cook! It is nice to meet you! I take my responsibility as a prep cook very, very seriously. So, Mist-san, I have drawn up a proposed menu for additional food items we can serve! And, and, and, maybe we can even make it the centerpiece meal! Like, when the waiters go like, "We recommend the fried corn on a steak!"

PROPOSALS:
Red bean paste
Turkey and Mustard Sandwiches
Ketchup and Onion Soup
Peanut butter and jelly hamburgers
Leek and garlic ice cream (to be served only on Mondays)
Fried Avocados with a Mix of Corn Dog
Toast with a generous dash of Chili
Tomato and Rye Cake

I have many more ideas! Also, also! For Ichigo and Stranger-san, for being so generous with me, I have made them a special plate of Caramel Turnip! It looks very, very good. I am also willing to make plates for anybody who might be hungry. I can cater birthday parties, anniversaries, and funerals. I can also dress up as a clown for parties, too, so please feel free to call on me!

I was taking a walk in the forest!

When I accidentally took a wrong left turn! Then a wrong right turn! Then a wrong left turn! And then these killer wolves sprang out of nowhere! I fought them off with my bare hands and uppercutted them like haw-haw-HAW and became the champion of the wolves! They adopted me and my wolf-name is Grrangherr, except I had to leave them, and everybody was sad, and I left with the sunrise! Except before I left, I drank deeply from the canteen, to share in the brotherhood of my fellow wolves one last time! B-But I drank too much!! Now I finally found a very large building!

So-so-so, can someone please tell me where the little girl’s room is?!

EDIT: I have been reprieved! Ah... Ah! I got lost?!